Category Archives: Hockey

May 13, 2013

2013 NHL Round 2 Predictions

By nalstradamus

I went 7-1 with my first round predictions, with the only blemish being with my beloved Canucks. I started this post earlier, but had to come back to it with the Leafs providing the biggest game 7 3rd period collapse in NHL playoff history. Ok enough Leafs harassment…on with the picks.

Eastern Conference

(1) Pittsburgh vs. (7) Ottawa

Prediction: Pens in 7

The annoying storyline that will dominate the start of this series will be the Cooke and Karlsson storyline. That story will die quickly and instead the focus will be the hot Craig Anderson vs. the offensive powerhouse Pens. I think in the end the Pens are just too deep for the young Sens to handle. The Sens will give the Pens everything they can handle though and I see this one going the distance.

(4) Boston vs. (6) New York Rangers

Prediction: Rangers in 6

Both of these teams must be a little weary coming off emotional 7 game series’ in the first round. I picked the Rangers to make the cup final in my pre-season picks so I guess I have to keep riding with them. These two teams match up well in regards to size, goaltending, defence, grit, coaching, etc…but the reason I like the Rangers most in this series is they seem to be the healthier squad coming into the series. Boston’s D were dropping like flies in the latter part of the Leafs series and will struggle if the likes of Seidenberg, Ference and Redden remain out for long.

Western Conference

(1) Chicago vs. (7) Detroit

Prediction: Hawks in 6

These 2 teams played each other close all season long, with many of the games needing OT. The Hawks in my opinion are just too deep up front and in the back for the Wings to handle. The Wings young D will struggle against the high powered Chicago offense. I also have a bunch of Hawks in the playoff pool so I need them to win.

(5) Los Angeles vs. (6) San Jose

Prediction: Kings in 7

This one is a toss up in my opinion. I give the edge to the Kings because they are the champs and they know what it takes to win…while the Sharks have Joe Thornton…However, the Kings better be careful not to take careless penalties like the Canucks did because the Sharks PP is lethal.

 

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May 11, 2013

Canucks Postmortem 2013

By nalstradamus

I wanted to take a few days to collect my thoughts before writing this post. If I wrote this the day of or the day after the Canucks were swept out of the playoffs I would have probably went on a highly expletive filled rant calling for the entire organization to light itself on fire. I still may do this by the time I’m done this post…but anyhoo. The Canucks have disappointed it’s impatient fan base yet again. This time in premium fashion, getting their sh%$ handed to them in an embarrassing 4 game sweep. The days that have followed have been filled with many ideas from the fan base, most of these ideas being of the lets publicly execute the entire team variety. In this post I am going to give my evaluation of  the Canucks and what I would do if some voodoo magic occurred and I woke up as Mike Gillis tomorrow.

If I woke up as Mike Gillis I obviously can’t fire myself, but I would do something stupid to convince the owners to fire me (yeah I could resign, but might as well go out like a bauss). Gillis has been awful in the draft as the Canucks have zero help in terms of NHL ready prospects to help fill some holes in the line up. His trades have also blown thick chunks. His trades with Florida have been awful with both Booth and Ballard likely headed for a buyout this summer. Another area where he has failed miserably is in the re-signing department. I’m not complaining about the players he kept, it’s the contracts that have ruined this teams finances for the next decade. He also has given out no trade clauses like candy making it next to impossible to move any pieces that have any sort of value. Gillis has been awful and unfortunately he’ll likely be kept as the owners seem to for some reason still have confidence in the guy.

"Hey, fire me already."

“Hey! Fire me already.”

With Gillis likely staying the next thing that needs to be addressed is the coaching staff. If I was the GM I would have fired AV at last Thursday’s press conference. This wouldn’t be out of anger, it would be out of respect. Why drag the guy along for weeks if you know in your heart you’re going to fire him anyway. 2 first round exits all but seal his fate even though he has delivered winning season after wining season.  We all know in sports, the coach is always the fall guy when a team repeatedly falls below expectations. AV’s been a great coach for the Canucks and deserves to be let go as soon as possible so he can find employment quickly.

Now onto the players. The first thing that needs to be looked at is the goalie situation. Gillis made a mess of this situation, first by signing Lu to an outrageous contract and second, by not trading Lu before or during the season. The never ending soap opera between the pipes had to wear on the locker room in some way. Trading Lu now for any type of real value will be next to impossible. He’s still a good goalie and many teams would love to have him as their guy; however, everyone knows Gillis is desperate and thus, will offer garbage for the franchise’s best ever goalie. This next scenario won’t happen, but if I was GM I would be bold and move Schneider. Why? Not because I think Lu is a vastly superior goalie, but because Cory would bring back much more in a trade than Lu. Would you trade Schneider to Colorado for the #1 pick in this year’s draft and maybe also get some other useful parts back? I would in a heartbeat.

"Nice knowing you man."

“Nice knowing you man.”

How about the rest of the “core” players? I’m talking the Sedins, Kesler, Bieksa, Edler, Hamhuis, Burrows. Are any of these guys untouchable? I don’t think any of them are untouchable per se, but I would lean on keeping the twins, Kesler and Bieksa. I know the twins have been awful in the playoffs and seem to be slowing down a bit, but they are still premier offensive players that are hard to find/replace. Kesler and Bieksa are the heart and soul of this team. We’ve seen what happens when either of these 2 guys are out of the lineup. Hamhuis and Burrows are good players, but I think they are expendable. The twins can work their magic with almost anyone being the 3rd wheel. Hansen and Kassian looked just fine in their limited moments with the twins. If Burrows could bring back some draft picks or some younger blood I’d send him packing. Hamhuis still is thought of as a premier defender and for good reason. He’s also a BC boy so parting with him would be tough, but trading the hammer would definitely bring some tasty treats back. With a solid Garrison and youngsters Tanev and Corrado, the Canucks may have some room to move one or two of their premier D. If the Canucks can find a taker who thinks Alex Edler is still going to be the next Nick Lidstrom they should ship him to this fool immediately. Edler just does not look like he is going to be the #1 defenceman the Canucks thought he’d be. His mobility is questionable, his shot is hard but rarely finds the net, his zone coverage is borderline dreadful and his passing ability is definitely not Lidstrom-esque let alone Salo-esque.

#1 D-man? Doubtful

How about the 2nd tier players? Hansen, Higgins, Kassian, Raymond, Roy, Lapierre…I can tell you right now UFA’s Roy and Raymond are not coming back. If Raymond somehow comes back I’ll throw pooh at Rogers Arena. He has been awful…useless even. He has great speed and a decent shot; however, his skate into the zone and stop at the halfboards to fall or give the puck away routine is downright infuriating. Please don’t do it Gillis…please just let Raymond go. Roy is skilled and the Canucks need more guys like him, but he’s not worth $5 mil per. Hansen is solid and I’d try to lock him up with an extension. Hansen could probably play with the twins and thrive, he’s gotten better every year. Higgins has already been extended and is a valuable asset that can play anywhere in the lineup. Kassian is a beast and will only get better. I want to see the big toothless youngster up in the top 6 next year. Lappy is solid in the faceoff circle and would be a decent 4th line plugger if he still will play for around a $1mil per. Anything more and I’d pass.

As you can see I’m not liking a complete blow up of this team; however, I am saying some of the premium talent needs to be shipped out for skill, youth and picks. The team needs playmakers, snipers, feisty bangers, guys who will get ploughed in front of the net and still keep an evil smile on their face. Too many times do we see the Canucks race into the zone and keep all their play to the perimeter and hope a wrist shot from 40 feet will hit off 4 sticks and go into the net. They also desperately need a 3rd line centre. Ever since they lost Malholtra they have not had a consistent 3rd line. Higgins and Weise would be solid on a 3rd line…man would Steve Ott look good between them…sigh.

As I mentioned earlier the Canucks are devoid of NHL ready prospects. It will be tricky to both build for the future in acquiring picks, but also keeping a playoff worthy roster. I think it’s definitely possible, but if Gillis makes anymore trade gaffs we could be looking at a Calgary Flames situation here in Vancouver…you know, a team with no hope for 8-10 years.

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April 30, 2013

2013 NHL Round 1 Predictions

By nalstradamus

The playoffs start today…actually they start in less than 10 minutes so I better get these predictions in quick. Looks like Nick Backstrom already hurt himself in warm-up.

Western Conference

(1) Chicago vs (8) Minnesota

Prediction: Hawks in 5

This should be pure destruction. The $100 million dollar men in Ryan Suter and Zach Parise can’t win this on their own. The Hawks are far superior in every facet of the game. Good night

(2) Anaheim vs (7) Detroit

Prediction: Wings in 7

Yes, the Wings are not the same dynamo they’ve been in recent years, but they are still dangerous. Jimmy Howard is far superior than either of the 2 Anaheim backstops and can win this series all on his own. Factor that in alongside the Boudreau playoff curse and we’ve got ourselves an upset.

(3) Vancouver vs (6) San Jose

Prediction: Canucks in 7

The Canucks are lucky they have home ice advantage in this series. If it was reverse I’d be inclined to take the Sharks. The Canucks have been playing better of late and a lot of that can be attributed to the return of Ryan Kesler and the addition of Derek Roy. How serious is this Schneider mystery injury? I say he’s in there for game 1. In true Canucks fashion they give half the city a heart attack and win by 1 goal in game 7.

(4) St. Louis vs (5) Los Angeles

Prediction: Kings in 7

The Blues are the sexy pick, but I still like the defending champs’ chances in this one. These teams are very similar; however, I trust Jonathan Quick to pull through in the clutch more so than I do Mr. Elliott. Expect to see a ridiculous amount of 1 goal games and possibly a few shutouts as well. Whoever comes out of this series will be beat up bad.

Eastern Conference

(1) Pittsburgh vs (8) New York Islanders 

Prediction: Penguins in 6

Expect to see the opposite of the Blues and Kings series. These two teams can light the lamp. The Pens are just too much for the up and coming Islanders, but I do expect to see the Islanders win a couple of these high scoring shootouts. Sidney Crosby comes back game 1…you know he will.

(2) Montreal vs (7) Ottawa

Prediction: Sens in 7

After the Sens lost Jason Spezza and then Erik Karlsson I thought they were done. However, Paul MacLean worked some magic and kept his boys believing. Now that Karlsson has made a miracle comeback, this team is high as a kite. The Habs had an amazing year; however, they ended the year not so hot. Carey Price better find his A game soon or it could be an early exit for the Habs. I think the Sens keep riding the MacLean magic into an upset.

(3) Washington vs (6) New York Rangers

Prediction: Rangers in 7

It seems like these teams always end up playing each other in the playoffs. This is an amazing match up. Alex Ovechkin comes into this series as the hottest player on the planet. Can the Rangers contain the Rocket Richard Trophy winner? I think they can. They have an all-world goalie in Lundqvist and a solid d-corps. The blue shirts can also light the lamp and have been clicking on all cylinders since the wheeling and dealing of deadline day. They also better win because I picked up a bunch of them in my work playoff pool.

(4) Boston vs (5) Toronto

Prediction: Bruins in 5

Congratulations to the Leafs for making it back to the playoffs. Unfortunately for them they have to play a team that owns them. This will be a good learning experience for the Leafs, but in the end the Bruins are just too deep, too big, too skilled and too good in net. Maybe if the Leafs traded for Luongo they’d have a…nah, they’d still lose.

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March 11, 2013

Frustrated Incorporated

By nalstradamus

How frustrated are you Canucks nation? With last night’s loss the Canucks have lost 4 in a row and are just 3-7 in their last 10 games. This recent skid now has them out of first place in the weak ass Northwest Division. The Canucks are also just 1 point away from being outside the playoff picture. All of the above has the city of Vancouver in rage mode looking for someone to blame.

Before we start pointing fingers lets take a hard look at this roster…

  • The Sedin’s are still magical when they are not getting crosschecked in the face by an opposing #1 d pairing
  • The rest of the forwards are all highly effective…grinders
  • There are 2 dependable d-men in Bieksa and Hamhuis. With a bright up and coming Chris Tanev not too far behind.
  • Luongo is the most expensive backup goalie currently playing in the NHL
  • Schneider was thought to be a slam dunk to be the goalie of the future, but his inconsistent play has made his #1 status questionable
  • Alex Edler is being paid like a #1 defenseman, but has often looked like the 6th best defenseman on the ice
  • Speaking of 6th defenseman, Jason Garrison is so far looking like the 2nd coming of Keith Ballard…another bust from Florida
  • Ryan Kelser is turning into a studlier Sami Salo, taking over as the Canucks new Mr. Glass. A brittle #2 centre who’s not a 40 goal scorer, but is depended on as one
  • The once loaded middle of the ice is now a team weakness
  • Max Lapierre is now depended on as the #1 faceoff man…far cry from having the ability to have Malholtra and Kesler out there for an important draw
  • There is ZERO offensive skill or creativity other than the Sedins. No danglers, no playmakers, no snipers, no one who can score on a frigging breakaway
  • Mason Raymond, Chris Higgins or Alex Burrows as your #2 centre…goooooooodnight
  • A former top five power play and penalty kill that all of a sudden blows chunks
With all the above, are you really that surprised at how the Canucks have fared so far this season?
Look at all the top teams in the league right now, the Hawks, Ducks, Kings, Bruins…heck even the Habs…they have SKILLED offensive players. Not just players who can skate up and down the ice and fall down, but players who can create, who can make that nice saucer pass, guys who can pick the top corner, guys who can score on a breakaway without relying on a twin to feed them a pass through 6 skates for a backdoor tap in.
Please just end this falling relationship

Please just end this falling relationship

The injuries to the 2 heart and soul players in Kesler and Bieksa hasn’t helped, but even with them this team is a shell of the 2010 team that went all the way to game 7 of the cup final.
Didn't think I'd miss you this much Sami

Didn’t think I’d miss you this much Sami

I’m still confident the Canucks will find a way to overtake the Wild and eek out another Northwest crown, but after that…unless Lu goes on a possessed Patrick Roy like playoff run (that’s right I said Lu) I don’t see much happening with the roster the way it currently is.
So to wrap things up who is to blame? The easy choice would be the coach, but he can only do so much with what he’s given. I think if anyone is to blame it’s the GM. His attempts at making this team better than the team that came one win from the cup just haven’t panned out. Here’s hoping when he makes his next big trade involving one of the goalies, he gets the better end of the deal for once.

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March 2, 2013

What’s up with the ‘Nucks?

By nalstradamus

Tonight is game #20 for the Canucks and they find themselves in familiar territory; first in the Northwest. However, it’s not like they’re running away with the division. The wild sit just 2 points back and the Oilers just 4 back. After winning 6 straight from January 30 to February 12 the Canucks are just 2-5 since.

So what has gone wrong in the last stretch? This is Vancouver, so naturally let’s take a look at the goalies first. During the 6 game win streak the Canucks were being spoiled with Vezina Award winning performances by the goalies. In the 6 game win streak the goalies gave up more than 1 goal in a game only once. In the 7 games since, the goalies have given up 3 or more goals in all but 1 game and that was against a horrid Nashville offensive attack.

So this looks pretty simple from the above evidence, it has to be the goalies…

However, I don’t think it is. I think the lights-out goaltending was carrying this team earlier and masking the team’s shortcomings. The Canucks are seen as one of the deepest line-ups in the league and I believe they still are. However, being deep and being loaded with talent are 2 very different things. The Canucks seem to be back to where they were in the days of Bertuzzi, Naslund, and Morrison  where they would rely too much on the top line and pray to the ice gods that they would get some secondary scoring. The Canucks have a bunch of useful forwards that many teams would love to have, but they don’t have many forwards who can consistently put the puck in the net or at least create some chances.

2nd line centre? shudder

2nd line centre? shudder

Don’t get me wrong, I love the likes of guys such as Hansen, Higgins, and Kassian but do any of those players scream out offensive dynamo to you? Ryan Kesler poses some offensive threat, but even when he has been somewhat healthy he hasn’t looked close to the 40 goal scorer he was 2 years ago. With Kesler latest injury it looks like Mason Raymond slips into the 2nd line centre role…barf in my mouth. The Canucks have great speed and for the first time in ages have fairly good size and grit; however, they are sorely lacking playmakers, snipers and danglers (NHL video game styles). It’s all good to get the puck deep and get a hit in on a d-man, but once you get the puck below the goal line you need to be able to do something with it other than passing it to the point and pray for a seeing eye single through 6 bodies and into the top corner of the net.

With the lack of secondary scoring the Canucks rely on their back end to chip in with some offense, particularly Alex Edler and Jason Garrison. Edler has been steady with 12 points so far, good enough for 3rd in team scoring. However, Garrison has been downright dreadful. Garrison was paid big bucks for his booming shot and was expected to be a force from the point on the PP. Unfortunately he hasn’t been able to get on track with his slapper and has found himself off the PP on many nights. Garrison’s struggles may be a reason the perennial top tier PP in the league sits at 12th best so far.

If only he could hit the net with that shot...

If only he could hit the net with that shot…

There are other leaks that need to be plugged up such as a PK unit that sits at 21st in the league, a once top 5 faceoff team now sitting at 22nd in the league, 2 superstar goalies trying to be the man yet neither seem to want to be, a defenseman in Alex Edler that needs to start showing he can be a #1 d-man night in and night out…yikes this is getting depressing so I’ll stop.

With all the above evidence I paint a bleak picture for the Canucks, but all hope is not lost. When you have a stud goalie you always have a chance and the Canucks have 2. The Canucks still have the best offensive duo in the league (yeah yeah that’s slightly biased) and have a strong back end that should be able to shut down any team. However, they are going to need to find some form of secondary scoring because we all know come playoff time the Sedins will be on lock down against guys like Keith, Seabrook, Doughty.

Familiar playoff pic

Familiar playoff pic

Hmm, maybe a trade might help…

 

 

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February 1, 2013

The Days of Our Pipes

By nalstradamus
Like sands through an hourglass...

Like sands through an hourglass…

The soap opera between the pipes continues in Vancouver. We have the young ginger hero who secured the absolute trust and undying love from the Canuck faithful after only playing a whopping 40% of the games last year and 30% the year before. This hero was to usurp the evil Italian French Canadian antagonist who is only the best goalie to ever put on a Canucks uniform and has been a consistent top tier goalie for years.

The fans were seemingly going to get their wish of eliminating the older and more proven goalie with a trade for a bag of pucks. However, in a shocking plot twist the villain has refused to die and instead has showed his haters he’s still got game. He’s also started to show the haters he’s not just a snobby overpaid millionaire, but a cool guy who you’d love to have a beer with. His media scrums have shown a calm, cool demeanor with a sense of humour and his Twitter feed has been a daily source of hilarity. His solid play along with his “I don’t care what you haters say, I’m just doing my job and having fun” attitude has somehow mindfucked the haters into now loving him again. This proves once again we have the most messed up fans in the league. We’ll boo the shat out of an all-star so that we can get a young unproven back-up to take his job, but then the next minute we’ll boo the shat out of the young guy for being young and cheer on the underdog veteran to take his job back. WTF? Just messed.

To make things even worse, we have RIDICULOUS sports media outlets who are trying to make the Vancouver goalie situation into the biggest controversy ever to hit professional sports. Are you serious? How can having two solid goalies be a bad thing? If one starts sucking, you put the other one in and the team doesn’t miss a beat. If one gets injured you have the other one who can step in. It would be a controversy if one or both of the guys involved started being a cancer for the team, pouting on the bench, trying to divide the locker room, etc. However, there is no evidence of either of these guys doing any of this. These two guys genuinely seem to have respect for each other.

I feel the love...can you?

I feel the love…can you?

I will admit, I really thought Lu was a goner after last season ended. He still might be, but his play so far this season has to have increased the asking price for his services. He’s come into this season with the right attitude. He seems more relaxed and seems to be relishing his underdog status.  I think this attitude has really helped out his game. He knows he has the ‘chosen one’ behind him so if he messes up oh well…he was expected to right? Because he’s just a piece of Swiss cheese to this town anyways.

So really Vancouver, stop listening to these media guys trying to stir crap up out of nothing. There are no problems with the goaltending in Vancouver. Just sit back and be happy that you have the best goalie tandem in the league (shut up St. Louis). Secondary scoring though…that’s a whole other post…

 

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January 19, 2013

Sal’s 2013 NHL Predictions

By nalstradamus
All is right with the world once again

All is right with the world once again

How many of you fellow Canadians plan on boycotting watching hockey this weekend? Yeah that’s what I thought…you’re all weak…weak I say. I’m probably the weakest of them all so I shouldn’t really talk. The start of a season means it’s time for predictions. I’ll give my predictions on the usual stuff like Stanley Cup winner, Hart Trophy winner, etc. but I’ll throw in some fun ones for kicks.

Northeast Division Winner: Boston

Even without Thomas they are solid in net with Rask. They are deep up front and on D. These are still the big bad Bruins. The rest of the division is improving, but still not close to the Bruins caliber.

Atlantic Division Winner: New York Rangers

The Penguins are the sexy pick with a seemingly unstoppable Malkin and a healthy Crosby. However, I think the Rangers will repeat as division champs. They have arguably the best goalie in the league, a solid defence that for the most part remains in tact and now add Rick Nash to the mix and this team is downright scary.

Southeast Division Winner: Washington

New coach, new Ovechkin? Can Adam Oates make this team an offensive powerhouse again? I think he will and I like Braden Holtby in net. They will get a strong push from an improved Carolina team though.

Central Division Winner: Chicago

The big question mark for this team is in net, but with any resemblance of solid goaltending will be a huge bonus for a team stacked with firepower and solid defence. Jonathan Toews is the Mark Messier of his generation.

Pacific Division Winner: Los Angeles

Really going out on a limb here eh? How can you bet against this team though? They can score, they can beat you down and they have a top tier goalie to shut you out.

Northwest Division Winner: Vancouver

They are still the best in this division, but the rest of the division is catching up fast. Minnesota blew the bank on Suter and Parise, Edmonton has the best young talent in the league, Colorado is also full of young up and comers…Calgary…well…they still have Iginla.

Eastern Conference Winner: New York Rangers

C’mon now, would Bettman and his cronies have it any other way? Not saying the NHL is fixed, but having the Rangers in the final would be a dream for the NHL.

Western Conference Winner: Chicago

Yeah I’m not picking my Canucks. I just can’t this year with them not having a 2nd line for the first month or two of a short season. The Hawks are dangerous up front, have arguably the best leader in hockey, arguably the top defensive pairing in the league and a coach desperate to win after two early exits the last 2 seasons. They are primed to win it all but…

Stanley Cup Winner: New York Rangers

Rick Nash proves to be the missing piece that pushes the Blue Shirts over the top in a tough 7 game series with the Hawks.

Hart Trophy: Steven Stamkos

Vezina Trophy: Tuuka Rask

Rocket Richard: Steven Stamkos

Art Ross: Steven Stamkos

Lady Byng: who cares

Calder: Someone other than Nail Yakupov

First player to get injured: Simon Gagne

I was going to go Sami Salo but I’m thinking the warm Florida weather some how helps his glass body

First coach to be fired: Mike Yeo

Firing a coach in the middle of a shortened season is just mean. I doubt it will happen, but if one were to go I’d say Mike Yeo in Minnesota. If he can’t deliver with all the money the owners dropped he’s done.

Biggest disappointment (player): Ryan Suter

Big time pressure with ridonk contract and now no safety net without his longtime running mate Shea Weber. I like the guy, but tough for anyone to live up to that contract.

Biggest disappointment (team): Pittsburgh

Labelled by many to be the team to beat and rightfully so with two of the best players in the world on the team. However, I don’t think they are deep enough or strong enough on the back end to outlast teams like the Rangers or Bruins.

Most improved player: Ryan Getzlaf

Not sure what happened last year, but 57 points from a player of his caliber has to be an outlier. Expect more of a point per game pace this year.

Most improved team: Edmonton Oilers

The main core of youngsters have been building chemistry the entire lockout. I’m thinking they make a huge leap and make the playoffs as a 7 or 8 seed this year.

Biggest injury issue this year: Groin pulls

Concussions have been the main injury concern for the last few years, but I’m thinking we are going to see a lot of groin pulls/tears this season. With some players not being in the best of shape to start the season and no pre-season games to warm the muscles up…riiiiiiiiiiiip.

Biggest Surprise (player): Roberto Luongo

Yeah I’m a Lu lover for life, but we all know Lu will somehow, someway come back to haunt Vancouver one day. So I’m thinking once he does get shipped out he somehow screws us over in a big way. Maybe beating us in a big game to deny us a premium playoff spot, maybe Schneids gets injured soon after he leaves and were left with an unproven back up and miss the playoffs, maybe he beats us in the playoffs and urinates on the Canucks symbol at centre ice…either way we deserve it.

Player most likely to be suspended first: Zac Rinaldo

This guy is craaaaaaaaazy. I think he’s apt to just remove one of his skates one day and start chopping

Canadian teams that make playoffs: Canucks, Oilers, Leafs

Canadian team that does the worst: Habs

First goalie to lose his starting gig: Ilya Bryzgalov

He may get lost in the forest for good this time.

Player with most goals will finish with: 39

Player with most assists will finish with: 40 (Henrik Sedin)

Player with most points will finish with: 65

Will Jerome Iginla be traded: No, Flames too stubborn to do what’s best for franchise

When will Luongo be traded: After the Leafs/Flyers start the season off cold as ice…I say 7 games in

When will PK Subban be signed: After the Habs start 0-3 and Kaberle starts the season -12

Most valuable fantasy player: Henrik Lundqvist

Goalies are fantasy gold. You draft him and you can guarantee yourself a top tier finish

Puck drops in 40 minutes.

I’m jacked.

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January 11, 2013

So Gary What You Gunna Do for me?

By nalstradamus

So Gary’s sorry…yeah he damn right should be and so should all the NHL owners and the players. As I mentioned in my previous post I can’t wait to see what kinds of PR moves the NHL will try and pull post lockout. Gary says in the video above the league wants to make it up to the fans. So this post is about what I think the league should do to make us feel good about hockey again. I’ve read other articles and posts from fans and their wish list of post lockout gifts such as free tickets or free beer. In all honestly free shit is just never going to happen. Anyway, here’s my list, feel free to add in you ideas in the comments.

1) Team autograph and photo day

I lived in Edmonton from Age 5-7 and it was when the Oilers were in the middle of their dynasty. Every year the Oilers would have an autograph day where they would spread themselves all over West Edmonton mall and fans would have to go find the players to get autographs and pictures. It was always easy to figure out where Gretzky was since the line was hours long. I think teams around the league should all do a day such as this and let pervy cougars grope the players in photo opps or let old granny’s pinch their cheeks, etc. They deserve a little punishment…they’re big boys they can handle it.

Full contact autographs and pictures. Get ready Hank I'm sending my mom after you.

Full contact autographs and pictures. Get ready Hank I’m sending my mom after you.

2) A 3 day merchandise sale

The teams reap huge rewards off us suckers buying jerseys, hats, foam fingers, etc. Give back to the fans by doing a 72 hour sale. I’m thinking 50% would never fly, but I might consider dropping some cash if it got to at least 25% off and my purchase of over $100 gave me a free Canucks beer mug as well or maybe a Lu bobblehead (soon to be a collector’s item).

Come on...for 25% off you'd consider it

Come on…for 25% off you’d consider it

3) Gary Bettman comes to every arena at some point in the season to do a public apology before the game

I think it’s only fair for Gary to let us boo and possibly throw waffles at him at least once this season. This may appease some of the fans who can only get over the lockout with some form of mental abuse or violence.

Not sure why there's a pantless girl next to waffles...

Not sure why there’s a pantless girl next to waffles…

4) Monster discount on NHL Centre Ice TV package

This probably would never happen, but why not give a monster discount…I’m talking 50% for subscriptions. The league may get some suckers who fall in love with the package and end up paying full price for it next year.

5) ****(this is from the wife) Free back rubs from a player of her choice

Yeah I ran out of ideas and I asked the wife what she would want. Naturally a much studlier man rubbing her down was her choice. I see how it is…I see.

Dream on wifey

Dream on wifey

 

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , | posted in Hockey

January 4, 2013

Give Your Refresh Button a Rest

By nalstradamus

The most ludicrous lockout in the history of professional sports continues. The mid January deadline for salvaging a season is mere days away. Many die hard hockey fans around the globe…I mean Canada …have their work web browser locked onto a Canadian sports news site and are secretly refreshing the page every 5 minutes in hope of finally seeing the headline “Hockey is Back.”

Time theft as the boss would call it.

You reading this post at work? Thief

You reading this post at work? Thief

We’ve only thus far been focused on the greedy players, ruthless owners and the forgotten fans. However, what I’ve really come to realize is how much this lockout has exposed how ridiculous our country’s sport media coverage is. Obviously I’ve known the coverage is and always will be hockey dominated. Although, I didn’t think the coverage would still rely so much on hockey with little to nothing of substance to report on the subject on a day to day basis.

I want you to think about it. Think about the last few months. How many ground breaking developments have really come out of this labour dispute? Here is the lockout in a nutshell: the owners have a, b, c, d issues they will “die on” and the players don’t like them. The players threaten to dissolve their union, the league says go ahead and do it. The owners compromise, the players counter compromise, the owners think about it and see if they can squeeze a little more out…such exhilaration continues until both sides sign a piece of paper.

sign_here

Sounds familiar right? However, all of us hockey suckers are bombarded on a daily basis with “breaking news” developments from the lockout. The latest being the players being upset at a comment Gary Bettman made that some GM’s regret some of the contracts they made and wish they could have a way to get rid of these contracts. Is that really news? It’s obvious to anyone with a pulse that there have been some preposterous contracts in the past and also obvious that likely the GM’S who made these deals wish they could have a mulligan.

Wade Redden...whoops

Wade Redden…whoops

I feel bad for the hockey reporters and experts that are being asked to constantly report on this fiasco. To keep viewers and readers, any little story/event/action/statement is built up to be something much bigger than it really is. What’s tomorrow’s Earth shattering tweet going to be? “Bettman picks nose while looking at Fehr, NHLPA furious at disrespectful dig, may disclaim…”

I respect these reporters and I understand they too have families to feed and are just doing their job. I do look forward to their expert opinions/insights as to the winners and losers of the CBA once the deal has finally been struck. However, until that time, why get mentally abused by this emotional rollercoaster the media is putting you through when there are so many other exciting sports you can watch. So stop constantly refreshing those browsers and maybe give some of the following a gander.

The NFL playoffs start this weekend and feature exciting matchups including a matchup of 2 of the most exciting, athletic QB’s in the league in Russell Wilson of the Seahawks and RGIII of the Redskins.  If you want to cheer for younger athletes, how about tuning in to the remaining NCAA college football bowl games especially Monday’s championship game featuring powerhouses Alabama and Notre Dame. You don’t like football? Well how about checking out the rejuvenated NBA with storylines a plenty including 2 teams people love to hate in the Lakers and the Heat, emerging powerhouses the Clippers and Thunder and an all of a sudden red hot Raptors team.

Ball? (Credit Image: © Gary W. Green/Orlando Sentinel/ZUMA Press)

Ball? (Credit Image: © Gary W. Green/Orlando Sentinel/ZUMA Press)

Yeah it sucks hockey is not around, but there’s so much more out there to take up your household chores time. So grab those remotes, quit watching re-runs of Gossip Girl with the wife and take back the TV.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Hockey

December 28, 2012

Get Your Hockey Jerseys Out…

By nalstradamus

and shat on them, all over them.

Most of you have read today’s “breaking news” that the NHL has made a new offer to the players and hockey in 2013 is just a few signatures away.

Ridiculous.

Really, it shows just how much these millionaires care about you fans. I thought the NHL’s last offer was the final offer with issues that were “hills they will die on” Well miraculously, the NHL has moved off their death hills and has started to…wait for it…compromise.

These might be hills worth dying on...

These might be hills worth dying on…

This latest offer screams out to me that the owners have and had little to no intention of cancelling the season.  It shows there are no hills their dollah dollah bills will die on.  Why wait this long to start real negotiations? Why couldn’t this of started ages ago? Why? Because they knew to get the best deal you have to make the other party panic and poop themselves. Unfortunately for Bettman and the Zillionaires it appears Donald Fehr does not take poops. The owners have realized this constipation is going nowhere soon and are now trying to feed the players a nibble of a laxative.

Not sure if anyone else has likened union solidarity with constipation beforeCHRIS YOUNG/THE CANADIAN PRES

Not sure if anyone else has likened union solidarity with constipation before
CHRIS YOUNG/THE CANADIAN PRES

Now we will watch the back and forth press conferences where each leader will try and paint the other leader as Satan. And then magically mid January both sides “regretfully” agree on a new deal. The owners will claim they compromised and moved away from their death hills for the love of the fans.  The players will say they sacrificed so much because they just couldn’t live comfortably with their Bentley’s knowing little children would go a cold hard winter without watching the neutral zone trap.

Please come back fans. By the way, you like my car?(Paul Hunter/Toronto Star)

Please come back fans. By the way, you like my car?
(Paul Hunter/Toronto Star)

I can’t wait to see the amazing PR campaigns the league and players will roll out after the CBA is signed. The hockey starved suckers will fall for all the garbage hard and will gladly fork out over a hundred bucks for tickets to watch their ice gladiators battle it out for a sip of Lord Stanley’s teat.

I’m angry because I am one of those suckers and I can’t help it.

I don’t want to come back, but I know I’m weak…so pathetically weak.

I hate you NHL…

hate you

you hear me Gary Bettman and Sidney Crosby? Hate…wait does that mean the hockey pool draft is on then? Damn it

 

1 comment   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Hockey

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